It saddens me because I really do feel like I am living in the middle of a sea of chaos. It is like the soundtrack of my life is stuck on this fast paced electronic (maybe heavy metal) song....and it is stuck in repeat.
What is going on? What is creating the chaos?
1. The weather...mother nature is waging a war on us. The rain is relentless. I wonder if this is how the world felt when Noah built his ark?
2. The Drug War...if you haven´t read it yet, Mexico is in the middle of a drug war. Sometimes the cartels battle one another, sometimes its the government. Week after week the news is covered with deaths and shootouts. It is getting tiring.
3. Insecurity...goes hand in hand with the drug war, but where the drug war seems to be more "real" in the north. Kidnapping is real here. I was talking with a friend the other day and she commented that it seemed that almost every kid knew someone or a family member of someone who had been kidnapped. There has been already over (?) 400 kidnappings this year, and that figure isn´t considered to be very reliable, since it is figured that over half of the kidnappings are never reported since the ordinary citizen doesn´t have an ounce of confidence in public security. It is hard to enjoy the beauty of Cuernavaca when you can´t go out and live it...
I have wanted to take a day in the country for so long, but we can´t. It is just not safe. It kills me, after I took the boys horseback riding in the mountains a couple of months ago, we heard the week after a family of four was found in the same national park....murdered. I made plans to go climb to Tepotzteco and when my plans were cancelled I was relieved because the same morning I read that two tourists were attacked on the hike up. What can we do? Where can we go?
4. The teachers' strike...a uniquely morelense problem. A unique ideological quigmire for me. This has been the point that just makes me rage. They have shut the city down. Well you can still move about, but you never know what building they will take or whether there will be confrontations or what is next. The horrible traffic this morning was on the account of the government's preventive measure because the teachers have decided that today they were going to try to take the TV and radio signals or towers or something. What happened? No idea, I haven´t seen any news yet. I have still have yet to understand how their fight is justifiable, I see it as greed. They are opposing an educational reform that improves the quality of the system. They demand that the exams that they overwhelmingly failed are annuled. And they refuse to allow investigation into the "illegal" sale and inhertiance of teaching positions. And are opposed that candidates for new open positions have to pass a basic knowledge exam. What's the deal? And we all became teachers because...it was lucrative? Last time I checked, no. As time goes on the truth gets murkier and murkier. Their arguments were weak from the beginning, and now it seems all they do is shout and threaten to do this or that if the government or whoever they are shouting at won´t do what they say. And what is even more interesting is that one poliltical party or another is supporting them. Someone must be, you should see their sit-in. I swear they are better equipped then...well then a lot of houses I have seen. Really.... And it is sad because the kids and families that are suffering are those who don´t have options. These are the families who can´t afford to pay to put their kids in a private school, even the most economic ones. Or even more basic...these are the families that don´t value education enough to find a way to put their kids in a private school. These are the exact same kids who could benefit from the educational system....if it would work how it was suppose to. These are the kids that it is their only way out of a never-ending circle of poverty and ignorance. Oh it pisses me off. Not only is it annoying, worrisome, it pushes my ideological buttons. How could you do this job and think that way? I just don´t get it.
I have spent my entire adult life supporting the idea of populist movements of leftist idealism. I have always defended the people's right to protest as a key right. And while I still believe they are justified to protest and to strike, I am opposed to the fact that for egotistical reasons they have shut down the city, severely damanged our economy and made our lives hell. This experience is changing my point-of-viwe and I feel the need to express it.
As Georges Clemenceau said.."Not to be a socialist at twenty is proof of want of heart; to be one at thirty is proof of want of head." I remember hearing that quote at some point in my educational career and I remember thinking...that isn´t true. When I am thirty, I will still be a socialist. Am I? That is the question.
2 comments:
I think the key is in the method of execution. I find myself more and more 'anti-establishment' as the course proceeds. I also find myself more and more cynical and aware of potential fall-out. It tends to dampen the revolutionary in me.
Good to hear you. Always appreciate an update. :)
I look at Che and I wonder...was it like this in his time. I think I might be mouring the death of my revolutionary...it isn´t worth it if this is the price. That is sad.
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